Lately, I’ve noticed that society has become more and more ridiculous, especially in terms of “fashion”. I choose to believe that my growing older has allowed me to see the error in society’s ways and I have decided to list my top fashion grievances for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
Grievance #1: Holy Shirts
I walked into a store the other day (a store that shall remain nameless because, full disclosure, I still really like to shop there) and I found a shirt for sale that was full of holes. I’ve seen stray sparklers creating a very similar effect. It’s a whole lot cheaper. Plus, you get the added bonus of not knowing whether the whole shirt is going to go up in flames. I remember when I got rid of my clothes once they started falling apart. Now, people are paying extra and calling it “distressed”. Man, I should’ve hung onto those old, ratty jeans. I could’ve made a killing. Probably.
Grievance #2: Sleeveless Shirts
I remember when cutting the sleeves off your t-shirts was the cool thing to do to. I’m not sure if it was to better display your muscles or just to make them look bigger. Now, people are willing to pay extra for stores to do it for them. Where’s the rebellion in that? Also, how does half a shirt cost more than a whole shirt? Do they really have to create a whole shirt just to cut the sleeves off? How hard is it to make a shirt without sleeves? Instead of making sleeves, you just don’t.
Grievance #3: Extremely Distressed Denim
I was willing to put the other grievances aside until I came across an article
about how designers are throwing perfectly good jeans to lions and tigers in order to attain the perfect “distressed” look. Feel free to read all about it here
. When I saw this, I thought to myself, “Really? Are people really willing to risk their lives for a, ‘Hey, cute top,’?” For those of you who read this article and thought this was a brilliant idea, I hope you realize that you’re pro training lions to hunger for human apparel in the name of fashion. Think about that.
Now, I’m all about the carefree, boho-chic style, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I’ve decided that this is it.