Downtown parks have way more variety than parks in the suburbs. Sure, you have the typical runners and Frisbee enthusiasts, but there are so many more groups of people that you just don’t find in the suburbs.
Who You’ll Find at a Hipster Park
The Ill Prepared
It’s 30 degrees Celsius and sunny. Maybe don’t wear black slacks and a black polo shirt.
The Well Prepared
Why sit on the ground when you have a chair that folds away into our backpack?
The Over Prepared
It’s the park. It’s not a 10 day trek across the Andes.
Stoners Learning to Hula Hoop
The hippie just pulled out his iPad. I don’t know how i feel about this. Aren’t hippies supposed to be against “the man”? I guess technology isn’t so bad? Although, his attention seems to be more drawn to the stoner hula hoopers.
Hipsters That Think They Can Throw a Football
Again, pretty self-explanatory.
The Newlyweds That Think a Busy Park is the Perfect Wedding Photo Backdrop
I’m sure they’ll look back at their photos for years to come with fondness…
Hipster Garage Sale
Another thing that can often be found in a hipster park is a garage sale. Hipster garage sales are not like ordinary garage sales. I grew up in a place where a garage sale meant collecting all of your old toys and clothes and hoping someone else wanted them. If someone was willing to pay you $10 for your “vintage” friendship making kit, that was a steal! I recently ventured downtown and learned that garage sales mean something very different here.
I don’t understand how all of these people just “happen” to have antique glassware and (overpriced) records they’re trying to unload. It would also appear that used hats are all the rage (Head lice risk? No, thank you).
Of course fan clubs meet in hipster parks. Now I’ve never seen Orphan Black, but from the fan club, it would appear to have something to do with clones and pencils. Black clothes and yellow hair also seem to play a role. Oh, they have press-on tattoos…I wonder if they have any that aren’t Orphan Black related.
Bonus Fun Fact: There’s never a fear of being the palest/least tanned person at a hipster park. At a hipster park, if you’re tanned, you stand out.