Why I Don’t Live on a Beach

Posted in Canadian Living by Rachel

I recently returned from a wonderful vacation in Miami filled with beautiful beaches, warm sun, and not a care in the world. Sadly, my brief somewhat tropical escape had to come to an end. I landed in Toronto, stepped out of the airport, and BAM!! The 50 degree (Celsius) drop in temperature hit me in the face like a sack of potatoes. I thought to myself, “Why do I live here?!”

Canada is a lovely place. I live in Toronto, and while we do have beaches, they’re not quite the ones found in sunny Florida. There are no shells, the sand’s not very white, and I don’t recommend swimming in the water. In Toronto, cloud-free days are few and far between. Even in the summer there’s no guarantee. You’re better off investing in a toque than a bathing suit.

So, why do I live in frostbite central? Yes, I was born here, and yes it would be a huge hassle to immigrate past the lines of my home and native land. Nevertheless, I live in Canada because it’s great. Just to prove it to you (and myself), here are three reasons off the top of my head.

1. A Sorry At Every Corner

Sure, some countries may gawk at our politeness. Personally, I like living in a place where people apologize when you bump into them. You read that right. Canadians (often) apologize for getting in your way. Some people think this is weird. I think it’s nice. It’s better than an enraged lunatic screaming your ear off for getting in their way. Yes, these are the options.

2. Unlimited Freezer Space

In Canada, there’s never a lack of freezer space. Let me paint a picture for you. You’re having a party. The standard freezer space in your fridge is filled to the brim with frozen treats. There’s nowhere to store the surplus of party beverages you purchased for your guests. In the southern most parts of the world, this would be a disaster. You’ll become an outcast forbidden to throw dinner parties for your social circle ever again. For Canadians, it’s barely a thought. Just stick it in your garage. Garage is full? Just stick it outside. Problem solved.

3. Night Driving

Driving in the snow at night can be dangerous. Even if you have a vehicle well-equipped with snow tires and four-wheel drive, there’s always a chance that some less than prepared idiot will turn your day, and possibly your car, upside down. However, if you find yourself driving down an empty country road during a snow storm, it’s actually pretty cool. All of a sudden your car is an X-Wing Fighter barrelling through space at warp speed. Engage hyperdrive!

Regardless, I say bloom where your planted, even if the ground is frozen.

3Feb2015

Super Bowling in Canada

Posted in Canadian Living by Rachel

Another football season has come and gone, and with that, another Super Bowl. I just love the Super Bowl. Aside from the fact that it’s my favourite professional sport, it’s such an exciting event, that is, if they put on a good show. Thankfully, this year did not disappoint!

Super Bowl XLIX started off with the national anthem sung by none other than Idina Menzel. I could basically stop right now, but I’ll keep going. Then the biggest football game of the season began! Tension was in the air, people were sweating (thankfully I was safe on my couch), and jobs were on the line. Then half way through the craziness, an original concert was put together just for me (okay, the whole Super Bowl-viewing audience). Cue the dancing sharks. Finally, the superior team prevailed over the other! The crowd went wild! Then the players went wild! There was confetti everywhere! Where did that all come from?! I didn’t see any confetti cannons…must be magic. There was even magic confetti in the air!! If this doesn’t convince you, you’re basically dead inside. I’m sorry for your loss.

One of the downsides to watching the Super Bowl in Canada, is the commercials. Americans don’t realize how good they have it. They have the pleasure of witnessing the fruits of millions of dollars spent on advertising. In Canada, we get to watch the same four commercials on repeat, and let me tell you, it’s way worse than it sounds. Even if you manage to catch the game on an American channel, Canada (I’m assuming it’s a country-wide effort) somehow intercepts the airspace during breaks. These companies must be spending a ton on these commercials to have them viewed a million times. This is not an exaggeration, I counted. Yes, I’m a very good counter. Ask my mom. Well, at least there’s YouTube. I guess I could have just looked them up beforehand, but who wants to ruin the surprise. And yet, some Americans couldn’t be bothered to watch the game. I guess the grass is always greener in America.

I’m always interested in how Canadians choose their favourite football team. Not having an NFL team of our own, we’re open to choose whoever we feel deserves our loyalty. Some people go with Buffalo because of the proximity, while others choose the Vikings because they’re crazy (Yes, they are). Also, why is it so horrible to pull your loyalty from one team so you can hand it to a better one? Why should I have to stick with a losing team? Tell me, where’s the honour in that? No? The cheese stands alone? Alright…

Well, only 210 days until next season.

18Oct2014

Canadian Thanksgiving: It’s As Easy As 1, 2, 3, (4, 5)

Posted in Family by Rachel

Canadian Thanksgiving sneaks up on you about the second week in October. In Canada, we’re big believers in the long weekend. From May to October, you can count on a long weekend to get you through each month. Really, the only months that don’t have long weekends are March and November. If you’re a student, it’s really just November, but I digress. A month after Labour Day, you start to wish for another long weekend, and BAM, it’s Canadian Thanksgiving.

I can’t speak for all Canadians, but having celebrated my fair share of (Canadian) Thanksgivings, I feel that I am more than qualified to speak on the subject. This is for those who have never celebrated Thanksgiving, or have only celebrated it the American way. This is how my family celebrates Thanksgiving. It’s the way Thanksgiving should be celebrated. Yes, all other ways are wrong.

A Traditional (Canadian) Thanksgiving in 5 Easy Steps

Step 1: Food

Thanksgiving with my family starts out like most do. Everyone gets together at my grandparents for a traditional Thanksgiving spread: Turkey, Grandma’s famous mashed potatoes, rolls (fresh out of the oven), (glistening) vegetables, and the rest. Thanksgiving really isn’t the same without carbs. After we’ve polished off the main course, it’s time to move on to desserts. Yes, desserts. My favourite dessert is pumpkin pie surprise. You’re handed a plate that looks like a giant pile of whipped cream. You start to dig your fork in and SURPRISE, there’s a sliver of pumpkin pie underneath.

Step 2: Rabble-Rousing

This is the part of the day where my brothers pretend that they’re 12 (they’re far from 12) by playing with our younger cousin’s toys. It starts off with one of my brothers daring the other brother to do some crazy trick while the other one films it. Something generally gets broken. Sometimes it’s a skateboard. Sometimes it’s a physical injury that reminds them of their true age. This year, my younger brother tried to prove that he could jump a flight of stairs with a child’s scooter. As you can imagine, it did not go quite as planned.

Step 3: Photo Op

Next is picture time. No, this is not where we all hang out in the yard and take selfies while jumping in the leaves. It’s quite the opposite. After we’ve eaten more than a small African village and changed into our stretchy pants, it’s time for the annual family photo. This is where we gather in the front yard and forget how to stand like normal people. Everyone get agitated standing for what seems like hours while the lighting is perfected. My dad will set the timer on the camera and sprint to his pose. This is repeated about 10 times until the photo’s just right. After all, this is the cover of our family calendar. And yes, everyone gets one in their Christmas stocking.

Step 4: Sleep

Find a comfortable couch and let the turkey comma set in. But don’t get too comfortable because before you know it, it’s time for another family fun activity.

Step 5: More Food

Yes, it’s time to eat again. Like my dad says, “Pack and stretch.” Why wait until the next day to enjoy Thanksgiving leftovers. Let no dish go uneaten. That’s sort of our family motto… well, my grandma’s motto. That and you can never have/ cook with enough butter. The more butter, the merrier?

11Sep2014

As Roughing It As It Gets (For Me)

Posted in Family, Thoughts About Life by Rachel

Roughing-it really brings out your true self. Me, I’m not much of a camper. Don’t get me wrong, I have camped before. I did the whole sleeping in a tent, living like the wild thing. I even portaged. Mind you, I also managed to tip the canoe, knocking everyone’s stuff in the water. I think they learned a valuable lesson in survival.

I’m more of a cottager. In the summer, my family spends most of our weekends up at the cottage. Although many people envision a cottage as a luxurious summer home on the lake, ours is not quite like that. It’s a little more rustic than most. We do have indoor plumbing, but it’s not clean water. And with the laughable water pressure in the shower, you’re better off washing your hair in the lake.

As a kid, my siblings, my cousins, and I would play in the water all day, inventing creative ways to jump/ fall into the water. We’d play hide and seek, which is quite the challenge when you’re on an island. Now a days, our cottaging experience is a little different. We still play board games, but most of the time, we’re on our phones. When it rains, it thunders. When it thunders, it’s only a matter of time before your all sitting in a dark room. During the brink of every power outage, the first words out of anyone’s mouth are, “Charge your phones!” That, and, “Eat all the ice cream!” Seriously, you can’t have ice cream go to waste. If that’s not roughing it, I don’t know what is.

Good thing we still have the lake water to keep us grounded.

11Mar2014

For Those Who Don’t Have Little Brothers (And Those That Do)