Why I Don’t Live on a Beach

IMG_2123I recently returned from a wonderful vacation in Miami filled with beautiful beaches, warm sun, and not a care in the world. Sadly, my brief somewhat tropical escape had to come to an end. I landed in Toronto, stepped out of the airport, and BAM!! The 50 degree (Celsius) drop in temperature hit me in the face like a sack of potatoes. I thought to myself, “Why do I live here?!”

Canada is a lovely place. I live in Toronto, and while we do have beaches, they’re not quite the ones found in sunny Florida. There are no shells, the sand’s not very white, and I don’t recommend swimming in the water. In Toronto, cloud-free days are few and far between. Even in the summer there’s no guarantee. You’re better off investing in a toque than a bathing suit.

So, why do I live in frostbite central? Yes, I was born here, and yes it would be a huge hassle to immigrate past the lines of my home and native land. Nevertheless, I live in Canada because it’s great. Just to prove it to you (and myself), here are three reasons off the top of my head.

1. A Sorry At Every Corner

Sure, some countries may gawk at our politeness. Personally, I like living in a place where people apologize when you bump into them. You read that right. Canadians (often) apologize for getting in your way. Some people think this is weird. I think it’s nice. It’s better than an enraged lunatic screaming your ear off for getting in their way. Yes, these are the options.

2. Unlimited Freezer Space

In Canada, there’s never a lack of freezer space. Let me paint a picture for you. You’re having a party. The standard freezer space in your fridge is filled to the brim with frozen treats. There’s nowhere to store the surplus of party beverages you purchased for your guests. In the southern most parts of the world, this would be a disaster. You’ll become an outcast forbidden to throw dinner parties for your social circle ever again. For Canadians, it’s barely a thought. Just stick it in your garage. Garage is full? Just stick it outside. Problem solved.

3. Night Driving

Driving in the snow at night can be dangerous. Even if you have a vehicle well-equipped with snow tires and four-wheel drive, there’s always a chance that some less than prepared idiot will turn your day, and possibly your car, upside down. However, if you find yourself driving down an empty country road during a snow storm, it’s actually pretty cool. All of a sudden your car is an X-Wing Fighter barrelling through space at warp speed. Engage hyperdrive!

Regardless, I say bloom where your planted, even if the ground is frozen.


2 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Live on a Beach

  1. Pingback: A Polite Ode to Canada Day | A Laptop In The Wind

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