Physically Waiting Is Still A Thing (Apparently)

modern_family_lineYou might think that with all of our technological advancements, that waiting in a physical line is a thing of the past. Well, you would be wrong. Turns out, if people want something bad enough, or they think they’re getting a deal (no matter the size), they’ll wait in line as long as they have to. They’ll survive on power naps and cookie crumbs if they have to.

The other weekend, I was able to observe these individuals in their natural habitat. Apparently, if you’re looking to buy a home in a coveted neighborhood, a house that hasn’t been built yet, you’re required to camp out in a parking lot. Generally one night should do it, but if you’re competing against a rather feisty group of would-be homeowners, you might want to go ahead and take the day off work. It seems that they only want strong people living in this neighborhood. Do you need a lot of sleep? Not willing to punch anyone in the face? This neighborhood may not be for you. Maybe you should get used to a lengthy commute.

One of the benefits of this barbaric practice is you get to know a ragtag group of crazy people that might be neighbors. Let me introduce you.

The Self-Policer

The one that’s been camped out for three days and will be damned if you think you’re going to get in front of them. You need to take a lengthy washroom break? You better hope they don’t take attendance while you’re gone. If you’re not there when they call your name, you get scratched off the list. The rules clearly state if you leave the property, you could lose your spot. And they should know. They wrote them.

The Math Guy

The guy who has calculated what’s available and who on the waiting list is actually going to leave happy. This guy will get your hopes up, convincing you that the last house is totally yours. He doesn’t include room for error.

The Hoverer

The one that didn’t get there early enough, but they decide to stick around to see if you’re going to change your mind. This person is really annoying. Plus side, they probably won’t make the cut.

Eyepatch Guy

There’s really nothing significant about him other than that he wears an eye-patch and I have to refrain from using pirate slang around him. I have to use everything in my power to refrain from greeting him with a “How arrrrgh you?” He doesn’t look like he’d appreciate it.

The Late-Comer

This person has no idea what they’re doing. They have done no research and think that they can just show up 10 minutes before the houses go on sale and walk away with exactly what they’re looking for. Come on lady. There are already 50 people on a list waiting for 22 homes. Do the math. Go home and come back next week with a sleeping bag.

The Moral Supporter (Me)

The crazy one who’s not buying a house, but got up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday for moral support and research.

It’s hard not to get caught up in the hype. I just about bought a house. That is until I reminded myself that it wasn’t in a position to impulse-purchase a house.

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