I Got a Personal Trainer (Cue Panic)

pain-gain-arnoldI decided to try this new thing where I start my Saturday off with the feeling of impending doom. No, I’m not running away from a murderer (although sometimes it feels like I am).

As I venture further down the road to better health and wellness, I decided it was time I sign up for a personal trainer. I was convinced (yes, by said personal trainer) that in order to improve my workout and step up my game, I needed to take drastic measures. Personal trainer it is.

Now, along with the physical journey, there’s also a mental component. I’ve discovered there are 10 stages to mentally coming to grips with the fact that I now have a personal trainer (and might die). Allow me to share this roller coaster of emotions.

The 10 Stages of Having a Personal Trainer

1. Regret

After you sign up for your first personal training session, you may second guess your decision. You may start thinking you made a huge mistake and you’ll start making excuses. For example, the expense is more than your budget can handle, your schedule is full enough as it is, etc.

2. Pride

Next comes pride. You may think to yourself, “I don’t need a personal trainer. I’m fine. There’s no need for anyone else to push me. I’ve been doing a basically fine job for years. Yes, I look the same, but still…”

3. Justification

With pride comes justification. I mean, the internet is basically like a personal trainer and it’s free. The people on the internet never tell me I’m doing anything wrong. I realize they can’t see what I’m doing (or if I’m even exercising at all). However, they’re very encouraging. We’ve never met, but I’m sure we’d be best friends.

4. Panic

Once you come to grips with the fact that you indeed have a personal trainer, the panic starts to set in. You realize that impending doom is approaching. There’s no escape. Crap.

5. Increased Heart Rate / Sweat (Not the Exercise Kind)

After you’ve moved past the panic and stress, you want to dive right in. You don’t have to sit around and stress about the what-ifs anymore. Let’s rip this bandaid off already!

6. Impatience

Why hasn’t my personal trainer gotten back to me with a scheduled session?! Doesn’t he realize I’m trying to fix myself?!

7. Relief

You make it through day one and totally nail it. You can totally handle this. Piece of cake!

8. Anxiety

Wait…that was just the assessment?! More anxiety…

9. Pain

Everything hurts. You’ll drop a pencil and take a significant amount of time contemplating whether bending over to pick it up is worth the inevitable pain which will ensue. I think my personal trainer is trying to kill me. This better be worth it. Can’t there be gain without the pain??

10. Acceptance

This is the stage where you fully come to terms with the fact that you’re one of those people who has a personal trainer. I mean, celebrities have them and you wouldn’t say that they’re not smart enough to work out by themselves. Now, I haven’t actually reached this stage myself, but I’m pretty sure I’ll get there…eventually.

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Staying Skinny Beyond Swimsuit Season

Everyone talks about gearing up for swimsuit season. As summer approaches, it feels like everywhere you look, you see another ad or another article about “achieving that bikini bod”. So what do you do if, by some miracle, you do achieve that coveted bikini bod? What do you do when swimsuit season is over? As you pull out your box of chunky sweaters, you start to wonder if anyone would notice if your flat abs went away. Maybe no one would notice, except you.

Once the leaves start to change colour and sweater season is in full swing, it becomes harder and harder not to forget everything you worked so hard for and dive head first into a big ‘ole pumpkin scone. You start telling yourself that carbs are worth it. You start to think that eating whatever you want will make you happy. Don’t do it! Sure, you look fabulous in tights and a chunky knit. Don’t you want to look good in everything? Don’t you want to hold onto those jealous glances?

Think about everything you sacrificed to look as good as you do. Do you really want to go through that again next year? More importantly, do you really want to put your family through that again? I think they’ve suffered enough of your, ‘I need sugar! Where’s all the sugar?!’ rampages (see previous post).

Now, put down that brownie and hit the gym!

Goodbye, Coffee. Hello, Plants.

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On the road to better health and wellness, one must make the necessary sacrifices to improve oneself. Apparently, one of the sacrifices I need to make is to drink less coffee. I’m supposed to stop drinking I altogether, but for the time being, I’m just working on cutting back. Since the coffee maker at my work broke, I thought what better time to start. Continue reading